the one with all the cool stuff

AHHH! I leave for Kenya in 5 days (well, technically 4 in an hour and 1/2). I am so incredibly excited that I can hardly contain myself; I have been waiting for this since June 1st of last year. As I pack all the t-shirts and long skirts and headbands and ugly shoes that will be my wardrobe the next couple months, I can take a deep breath…this is me. Not matching, hair in a ponytail, dirty toes, laughing, stress free, sunshine on my face, holding hands with little African loves. I get to go back to my normal next week. Well, ONE of my “normals”. Here’s the thing…

So many places feel right. What a “dilemma”, huh? I love too many places to ever decide where to stay. But the more & more I think about it, the more God keeps reminding me that I don’t have to choose. He has made me to be a wanderer.

Actually, I think He has designed all of us to be wanderers. If He gave you breath & some sort of mobility & talents of some kind (which 100% of you reading this have been given all of these things) then I believe He wants you to wander. Explore the world He placed you in. He may not be calling you somewhere like Kenya, 8,000 miles from where your house is. Maybe He has created you to see the needs that should be met right down the street more easily than the ones that are miles and miles away. He might be calling you downtown to visit an old veteran who’s life choices have lead him to a homeless shelter where he is now hungry, kinda smelly, disheveled and very lonely. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone by spending your Saturday morning making friends with him will make you feel worlds away from your everyday life. Maybe you will find one of your “normals”.

As I think back to 2 1/2 months ago I am shocked. I remember thinking, “How am I ever going to be able to wait for May to finally get here?! Time will just drag on by and waiting on May to get here will be sooo agonizing”. Well, that definitely wasn’t the case…and believe me, time has flown by. I know by now & God has alwayyyys known, that I learn better by experience. Not by reading or watching or listening. I learn better by doing and being an actual participant. I watch surf DVDs all the time and one of them is a documentary about Bethany Hamilton and her life before and after the shark attack. In one part, she and her mom were explaining that before Bethany’s accident they had been really praying that God would show Bethany the fruit of her life, to allow her to see how He wanted to use her. So for a while, I had been praying the same thing for myself, just saying, “okay God, I know I want me to be in Kenya this summer & I am pretty sure You do, too. So just open doors for that to happen if that’s what You want. And show me what I am supposed to be doing here, too. I don’t just want to be sitting around wishing for my flight to leave. Help me to be productive while I am waiting.”

So then God decided to bring someone into my life who was totally, completely, 100% unexpected. I feel so lucky & blessed to have met this guy. He is someone who helps to bring out the best of me. The best of my kindness, the best of my understanding, the best of my gentleness, the best of my patience. My life has been missing one of my best friends for 23 years and while I am bummed I have been missing out I am so so so thankful for the Lord’s timing. In the last 2 1/2 months God has just been showing off for us. It’s crazy. He has let us know so clearly that He has listened to our prayers and my faith has been strengthened more in this time than ever before and it is SO cool to say that. Here I was thinking that I was going to have nothing exciting to show for the winter/spring months and once again, I was so wrong. Being wrong is so great sometimes.

SO. Here I am. Sitting on the floor of my bedroom with clothes and shoes and miscellaneous things strewn about and I am feeling emotionally bipolar. I am SO EXCITED to leave and see Kenya and run around in long skirts and dusty tshirts with sweet Kenyan babies. But I am also dreading saying goodbye for two months to someone who has become such an integral part of my daily life. Change is scary and also exciting. I just have to keep reminding myself that the best IS yet to come. No matter what that entails, I have to go back to that- what is coming is better than what came before. I am also feeling bipolar about the condition of my room. I am by no means a neat freak, but I do like going to bed when things are semi-picked up…and my room right now is an absolute disaster. I kinda like this clutter though, it’s all suitcases full of things I’m taking across the world. Little tiny pieces of home to wear on my person every day. And when I get back, I’ll be wearing little pieces of home from Africa. After all, home is where the heart is & obviously, mine is all over the place.

be full of love,

tor

P.S. Here is a song that I’m in love with. It’s called Your Love is Strong by Jon Foreman 🙂

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you’ve found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

 

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One Response to the one with all the cool stuff

  1. Ashley says:

    Hi 🙂 I don’t know who you are, but I found your blog one day so I started to follow it. I’m really glad I did. We seem to have the same passion for Africa. I’ve been to Togo for three weeks and I’m leaving next week to go back for 3 months! I hope that your trip is so wonderful 🙂

    Ashley

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