Some days I lack motivation. Like I will get up at 1045 & do absolutely NOTHING until I go to work at 145. I lack the desire to be around people. My passion has spilled out of my heart and I just don’t have the energy or desire to mop it up that day. I think those are the days when I feel alone. When I sometimes regret the decisions I’ve made. When no one is pushing me to do something bigger. When I don’t have anyone I feel like I need to look good for (okay, or even shower for!). I know on these days, what I really should have done is wake up early, go for a drive to somewhere that I can be completely alone and just journal & listen to worship music & maybe some Tom Petty & definitely some Jason Mraz. Most days, I’m not like that, but I was definitely in a funk today & I should have resorted to a day of solitude. It didn’t start right when I woke up this morning, and contrary to what I just wrote above, I was pretty productive today. But something just sort of set me off somewhere in the middle…I think it was at work. Some combination like getting literally head-butted in the boob + being asked if I had a boyfriend by all the little 5th grade couples (when I said no, they said and HOWWW old are you???…little jerks) yeahhh, hey ego, there you go! right in the gut! Butttt at the same time I can also laugh about it. I am 21, on college hiatus, I spend more time with kids & animals then normal people, I have a job where I get head butted in the boob on a regular basis..it’s frickin hilarious if you ask me. Sikeee. 🙂 (I actually love my life. But some days I could do without the “kids say the darndest things” part. I have a zillion wonderful things going on, I just like to share the funny, endearing, silly part that makes you say wow…so glad i don’t work with kids who are boob-height.)
On another note, I have been studying for my massage exam (which I’m sending the application off this week!..like tomorrow.) But I was re reading over the chapter on the 5 elements and in Chinese medicine everyone is made of all five elements, but there is one that is more dominant. I am definitely Earth. Here are some qualities of that element…
COLOR: yellow; EMOTION: sympathy; SMELL: fragrant; TASTE: sweet; SOUND: singing(it says nothing here about singing well); ANIMAL: dolphinnn <3; PERSONALITY: loyal, diplomatic; FEARS: conflict
& I think I am also a lot of Fire as well…the emotion is joy, the sound is laughing, season is summer & direction is south, personality is sensual & intuitive.
pretty weird, huh? anyway, here is my song of the day. its by Noah and the Whale. It’s so happy & summery & it makes me want to go to the zoo and eat a snowcone… 🙂
be full of love.