“You can go with this, or you can go with that..”

So the computer screen is a fine representation of my mind right now. About 6 windows are open & they’re all set on different sites. I doubt this post will amount to anything substantial. Like my mind most days, it will be a jumbled array of thoughts & ideas. I have no problem with this, in fact, I’ve actually come to love this about myself. I’ve never wanted to be the type of girl who plans everything out in advance. Sure, it’s nice to have plans sometimes but I’ve come to realize that my plans usually don’t turn out- a good thing- because God’s plans are usually way better & have been thought through better too.

Right now I’m listening to San Francisco by Brett Dennen. He is so mellow & happy & just makes me want to move home to California & live simply by the ocean with my surfboard, a hammock & all the sunshine I can get. I really, really miss San Diego today. It’s so weird. I feel so blessed that I have been able to live in & experience a bunch of different places in the US but my heart is just so torn. When I go to San Diego, everything falls back into place. It’s like I never left. Everything fits- the ocean, the mountains, the desert, my family&friends, the incredible mexican food, the sunshine, the music that is EVERYWHERE, everything. You get off of work & you’re on vacation. Bad days & good days lead me straight down the 52 & onto La Jolla shores to reflect. But then, although there is NO way I’d ever want to settle down in Cville, there are parts of N. Carolina that I love. This. fits. too.  I love the way that family is everything to everyone here. I love how loving Jesus is a part of the culture, granted, most of us need to figure out how to love Him better. I love sweet tea, summers on the lake, country music (sometimes!), summer storms on the beach & how there are big patches of space everywhere. I don’t know where I am supposed to go, because my heart fits on the left side of the country and on the right. I am a total mutt. Half Californian, some Southern & thanks to a few friends I think I have enough love for midwestern boys & all those damn yankees to count some of them in my blood too. So where do I go?

I missed having a blog. Cause I’m not gonna lie…I like when people read my stuff. Not my parents, cause I just feel like thats weird and creepy. But I also like to write sometimes…I know it’s not anything very profound or witty, but screw it.

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One Response to “You can go with this, or you can go with that..”

  1. Brit Bell says:

    I missed your blog too! If I’ve never told you before, your ability to love so many things so passionately is very inspirational. You’ve taught me to give 100% and just LOVE..even when it hurts. And that being spontaneous can be so rewarding. Thanks for that 🙂 Love you!!

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